How i feel .

Don't you just know how i feel ?
Having to talk secretly .
Having restrictions in what i have to say everyday .
Planning ice skating for the both of us and it suddenly became don't know some other people.
Me having to see the him show off the gifts you gave him in front of me.
Me having to mind whether he lets us talk and whatsoever.
I have no hard feelings for anybody . I wanna just say everything off my chestttttt.... I don't know what to do either . I'm like stuck in the middle. Just waiting for someone to push me away and pulling me back and forth . What am i gonna do when the best part of me was always you and what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay . Oh i'm glad you're okay now . I'm falling to pieces . The last thing i ever wanted was for you to leave me . I swear .

Plans and things start to screw up.

Hey guys ,  been kindda down lately . :/ and i got nobody to talk to . So i just vent everything on the piano... And guess what ? :) I learnt alot of new songs on the piano ! Actually i had alot of plans during the holidays but now i guess everything is so unstable .... Probably just MIA during the holidays and take a break on my own. So that i can let everything down (: Peace out ~

It's been a rough journey.

I wished it didn't change at all.

Hey readers ! It's been sometime since i last blogged :/ How are all of you guys out there doing? :) The exams are drawing closer and closer each day . Which also means the time remaining with my friends and close ones are getting lesser and lesser day by day :/ Hahaha , been trying to study hard now and buck up. Not only to prevent anybody from looking down on me but more on the side where i can make my parents proud :) Well, okay let me update you on the problems i had from the period where i last blogged . The first problem i had was my studies . Recently i had a talk with Jackson and Kuantat and Jack told me that if i wanted to go to sec five i must really start studying now, because he said he's regretting that he didn't start studying earlier . I really hope that Jackson can go up to sec five and make it to poly . :) The next change is the one that would keep on repeating and repeating and repeating all over again.  My friendship problems . Yesterday i had some problems with justine because Zul told justine some stuff about me and realised it was all a misunderstanding. I really wished that all my friends can be truthful to me . Like really . :( Okay i admit i talked behind justine's back . But it wasn't me alone . Me , Wei Hern ,Soorya and Brandon was talking about justine's attitude under the 724 market that  day . Okay this one we all had a talked so nevermind already. Then before that i was on the phone with Soorya . Soorya accused me for telling Zul that Soorya doesn't like justine. And i said i didn't said it that way. But he didn't believe me and even said that it was confirm i said it. He even said that all the problems started all because of me. Why..... I mean like i don't know who's the one causing all these problems but i just wished that the guy can just own up and talk to me because all these sucks . Why don't you stand in my shoes and try going through what i've gone through.

Next thing is that i've got nothing to do with my 'Listening ear' anymore. Anyways , I just wanna say that everything that i've done i had reasons for it. It may not be obvious on the surface because it wasn't meant for you to know. :( So here's a letter for you .

Hey dearest . How are you ? It's been four days since we last had a proper talk to each other . Although it was just a simple four days but i wished you knew that it felt like it was like a long long time ago :'(  Please know that i still care for you alot . If i didn't care about you at all i wouldn't be crying . You were never a burden to me . I don't know what he said . But i really wished now that it didn't happened at all . :( you know  ,  somebody deleted all my pictures that you sent to me . I lost you , but at least i could have a look at your smile whenever i'm upset . And now , there's nothing at all . Damn , wished all these didn't happened at all . All i can say is that. It is moving in the wrong direction.