My first year in an Normal Academice class~ 3A3

Okay, so i still can't get over it being in a normal academic class. Which also means i'm separated from my good friends. which is also a major change in my life. *SIAN*
So, school's starting next week. Haven't got my school books at all. Don't really look forward to it. #worstpart. But maybe i should be looking forward? :| nahh, just checked and compared the timetables with 3E3. our common recess is only on Wednesday and Friday ): i wish you'd know how much i was hoping to be in the same class as you. But you don't. #FML .People around me tellling me i shouldn't hang out with friends too much. I feel that i won't adapt to the new stream like honestly. so i guess i'll have to mug alone all day and night likka secret ninja #ForeverAlone
I guess i'm still on my holiday mood~ Body clock screwed. (Have to fix it back soon)

Okay so this was what happened on 27/12/20....
It was rachel's surprise party. (Not really. Cuz i think she figured out everything just that she acted it out :|) yeahh so only like Nine in total including rachel attended. So, i could feel that she's kind of disappointed that out of like 26 peeps only 9 turned up ): kindda disappointing uh...Especially when i asked someone to come and she was like "Go there then need to pay this pay that." Honestly i feel that if rachel was your buddy then just be present.It'll really make her day man. But that wasn't the point. The more disappointing part was the plan didn't worked out. I was kind of disappointed she didn't wear the wrist band i gave her. I really hope it means something to her... and on that day my wrist band the string came off. Vignesh helped me to fix it halfway and placed it into jing xuan's bag. A little pissed off. Just a little. :| I think Rachel's happy over that someone's present~ i mean it's like so HUGE. compared
to mine. Ohyeahhh speaking bout the cake (: wanted her to have the one and only slice of a unique cake that is named Chocolate Of A Thousand Leaves
Does it looks awesome?
Yeahh i think it is C:
Then we headed down to Stadium station to meet each other (Me, Vignesh,Cheechai,Honghwee and jingxuan) Then we waited there for like 45 minutes - one hour. And finally Rachel's group came. (Rachel,Jamie,shaun and Kiankiat.) Then we sang her a Birthday song C:
Then we went ice skating ^^ I was jealous that she held someone's hands and taught him how to skate. I wished i didn't know how to skate too >:
And then i wanted to gave her a hand to help her up and she didn't want. *siannn nevermind.
Then i realised it was just small matter. idk jealousy still kills? :| I'm actually fine with anything that you're happy with :>
I hope you enjoyed that day i planned for you. Happy belated birthday rachel. 2012 is coming right up. It's gonna be a hard battle next year.  You can do it c:

(:

Wow, So much have changed. I don't want to hate you , so don't make me do it (: i guess i really have accepted the fact that you like him and all those and we can only be buddies :)
yeahh, so don't bann me from your blog all those :/ haha :) i caused so much. Shouldn't have kept saying no no no no no...i should've trusted every single word you said. what's with the 'should've...shouldn't' it's too late now..... ): take good care of yourself in thailand. it's like freaking 4 days :/ yeahh. i'll miss you..at the same time have fun. #worried. hahahaha who knows? i'm fine too :) haha.
Just hope that you know you still owe me an answer ;) Remember take care :)Got many suprises coming up buddy :) no more agitation. Just plain happines (:

For you.

Okay i guess i can be direct right here since she doesn't read it. Yeahh i miss you too. i wanna heart to heart talk with you like how i do it to the other close female best friend. i wanna start convo with you too. But i can't. It's just part of the plan. i'll just be the bad guy. Don't worry. it'll make it clean. i wanna make you smile on your special day. i won't be there. But i'll make him as the organiser. i guess everyone will agree with it sooner or late :) yeah . so i want to tell you. Bear with it. i miss you. i can't hide the fact that i want to say "i love you" so it goes like this. Okay, i hope you'll bear with it. i know you can live without me in your life. not only for fifteen days from today. maybe even forever :) but still the same old phrase. i love you. it'll be something memorable. remember the questions i asked? why i fall out with you right after i asked? hahaha. relax. Everything's gonna be fine. i'll be fine. just go have fun on your special day :D


:Your buddy,
Alden....

Another day where i screwed every single thing up.

Sometimes,peacemakers do get involved in problems too you know? I finally get it, lies are still lies. Guhan if you really cannot stop telling lies one fine day everyone will loose it's ability in saving you from the consequences. Why not just say out the fucking truth? Loyalty to you BROTHERS? Ha, i find it very amusing you know. i've never made you realised how many of your bro's have backstabbed you.

So, my wednesday's totally spoiled. My birthday celebrations gone.....i never had a birthday celebration with my friends before Why?!? ): , i have no one to talk to now and i even tried helping others when i myself can't solve mine already. Why Alden? don't do this kind of things your whole life...huh? holding birthday parties for others when nobody gives a fuck about mine. remember every single personality of whom i've met when nobody even tries to understand me. i feel so fucked now. my birthday's gone just because my parents have work. My dad even said it so sacarstically in front of me. Who ever knew that? the docotor said there's no cure for me...who ever knew that? my dad said spending money on me to the doctor is a fucking waste of money..who ever new that? my close friends are starting to distant...who ever knew that? smiling is the basic way to be happy? hahahaha my foot i'm crying.

i like you...........and how in the world am i supposed to tell you?

Today my friend asked me if i knew this female friend of mine.....he was like....

friend:"you know her?"

me".........*hesitating on what to write because she's my crush..haiya nevermind just write friends*.............erm....we're just friends......."

And now i feel fucking down.................):

your ways of saying "no,i don't feel the same way for you" is much more painful than you can ever imagine.):

Time, is going by, so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you
Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside
So I'm starting to regret not selling all of it to you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands
'Cause forever I believe
That there's nothing I could need but you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on

We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

Oh, you've gotta live every single day
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away, could be our only one
You know it's only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes

Time is going by so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you

You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone

I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day.

FUCKED UP LIFE!

okays,these few days was so fucking fucked up.....first,my phone got confiscated by my fucked up father,second my mother is like pms-ing........maths teacher almost giving up on me&&i have no fucking privacy at home.And now probably home is just a place to sleep.I don't recognise myself at home anymore. why the fuck can't i control my temper? maybe my parents are going overboard.I'm controlling myself not to explode infront of my parents.I scared i'll break my mom's heart. As for my dad,i don't think he regards me and my brother's as his son's although he nags at us all the time.All he did was just using his mouth,he didn't express it through his actions.

Today:
i woke up,sitting on my bed.I checked under my pillow,my 'spare' phone i borrowed from jing xuan was missing.And i realised my dad took my 'spare' phone away when like I WAS SLEEPING :@ FUCK~! WHERE'S MY FUCKING PRIVACY?! so in the morning,i showed 'attitude' to my mom and dad. Actually i had no reason on why to be angry at my mom,i don't even know why i slammed my school bag on the ground in front of my mom.....maybe i was too angry at my father.In the car on the way to school,he scolded me he said "why do you respect your teachers and friends but you don't respect us?! if you want respect,you should give us respect first.And all you do is give us problems,your phone bill too expensive,we need to pay,you never hand in your work or forms,the teacher complain to us,we're responsible,you wake up late for school and get caught by the councillors the 'in-charge' call us,we're responsible again,AND HE CALLED ME STUPID." hey dad,you wanna know why i'm not respecting you? ask yourself,have you ever respected me? my decisions?have you ever considered how fucking bad my situation is? and if you don't want me as a son and think i'm a problematic,abandon me somewhere. make me an orphan.go ahead.i may not be that top grades son you want me to be be,but please don't fucking call me stupid.If i'm stupid,i won't be studying in a proper school.leave me alone and i won't bother you,i will try my best to not let the teacher mention "i will call your parents" beacause i'll tell them "sorry,i don't have parent's.Me and my live by ourselves."

thanks alot.and get this fact :FAML->friends are my life.

what are words~

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

-Chris Medina(:

CHRIS MEDINA~! :D

Before:

After:

HELLOS~!
IT'S BORING SATURDAYS~!):
just browsed through an article in youtube that i thought was an inspirational life changing incident.

Chris auditioned, performing The Script’s “Breakeven,” and he brought along his beloved fiancée, Juliana Ramos, who is confined to a wheelchair following a tragic car accident. Today, Access Hollywood has new details about this emotional story.

Chris, an aspiring singer, said he fell in love with Juliana the first moment he saw her and the two became engaged in the coffee shop she worked in, in 2007.

They had planned to wed two years after getting engaged, but shortly before they could walk down the aisle, Juliana suffered a brain injury in a tragic car accident.

On the exact day they were supposed to get married, Chris shared a song he wrote for his ladylove on Facebook.

“I’m giving all I’ve got to give/To Pull You through/To set you free/More than the vow/‘Through thick and thin’/I’m living it/In your darkest hour, I will be your light,” were some of his heartfelt lyrics.

Although i can't donate any money for juliana's recovery,i still pray for her(:

myself~

ohmygosh.......now i don't even understand myself already starting to get jealous for no reason):
its weird to say the truth..............but i wanna say the truth..............ai~yo~yo! i got nothing to say already..... :/


I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

realising reality

i just browsed through the past in facebook and my blog.

seems like everything changed.............people starting to be very socialised,meeting more random friends,making new 'brothers'&&'sisters',events going on,new relationship here and there,breaking ups here and there.

but there's just one thing i realised.

no one accepted me.

people take me for granted.

chating with me just because they're bored.

no girls ever liked me.

putting in so much effort to make the people around me feel a sense of belong.

they just can't feel it.

FML~

OMG!

OMG!

it's saturday already and i haven't even log in my holiday task ._. how to finish?!?!?!
fasterfaster rewind back to monday!!! :D

FML~ BYEEE~WEEEEEEEEE~

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying Cause that's what I said I would do from the start

LALALALALALALALA~
OUTING YESTERDAY WAS FUNN~ BUT TOO BAD I NEED TO GO HOME EARLY :/
ANDAND I ATE ALOTALOT OF VINEGAR TOO :/

CURRENTLY AT HOME NOTHING TO DO :/ SIANN!!
K BYE :P



Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over, I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong

I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/h/hedley-lyrics/perfect-lyrics.html -]
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying

my holiday plans totally FAILED :/

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~

THINGS ARE NOT GOING WELL :/
BUT WHAT CAN I DO? :P

Holiday plans might be cancelled :/ hbl works not touched yet :/ piano homework not done yet :/ thinking of her :/ blahblahblah :X

i just realised that no matter what i think of always linked to 'her' wan luh...so wierd..O_O i went into facebook staring at the screen for hours....then suddenly she online :D the feeling so shiok sia :P
and when i saw her silly face in my mind i smile in the air like some mad duck :P my mom caught me once then she say i siao >.< LOLOLOLOL funny siaa^^ everytime ask her go out,then go out that time like so siansian :/ miss her bright smiles(: she say some phrases so funny wan lorh!! but i can't leak it out :P

i scaredd she might be thinking about someone else ~_~

got to go! byee unknown people! :D

ALDENEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

my honest thoughts~

I GUESS NOBODY READS THIS BLOG.
so i'm just gonna write down my truthful thoughts(:

Okay woke up this morning because my brother woke me up O_O then i thought i was late for my piano lesson. ><> 16 MISSED CALLS FROM MY PARENTS :O then untill now still kenna scoldings by them for waking up so late :/ haixx today got no planss siaa :/ somebody entertain me :p

kk i guess that's all byeee~~~
weeeeeee~~

CAMP

CAMP WAS not that awesome >.<
but there's a few things i want to tell my friends who attended the NPCC camp.
1)Sorry for making you guys did push up on the ground when it's my fault.(i cried after that because i felt very guilty)
2)i want to say thanks for going through all those shitty problems with me and make me realised that i can't live without you guys(: